BCassandra Thornton, BCMCLC - Blog

Scary & Exciting

10/17/2018

I woke up this morning thinking about my midlife transformation as it is unfolding. I find it exciting and scary at the same time. Exciting because I'm intentionally loving myself and taking better care of myself. Scary because it's something I knew I should have been doing long ago but for some reasons I sacrificed to be everything for everybody. Exciting because for the rest of my life I know that I'll be well taken care of because I'll be doing it for myself!
Learn to give yourself all the benefits you often give to other people.
#MidlifeRocks
#RememberYourWorth
#NavigatingMyLife
#godlywomenwin
#choosing2win

TAKE THE GUESS WORK OUT...

8/27/2018

Here I am single again...life as I once knew it is so gone... as though it never existed.

Lord is this a dream or did I just go through a crisis of some kind.

It all happened, so fast... I never met a narcissist until I met him, but the him I met and married was just an illusion.

In my upcoming book The Midlife Map I will share some of the most profound lessons I learned during this part of the journey to take the guess work out to help make your life easier. Stay Tuned!
#RememberYourWorth
#NavigatingMyLife
#Choosing2Win
#MiddayMeditations

Big Mistake...

8/13/2018

Reality Just Kicked My Door Down!
I remember over the years hearing about Midlife. However, it never once crossed my mind that it referred to my life. Even today as I think about it..it blows my mind that somehow I automatically disassociated with the idea. I never connected to the reality of this developmental stage of my life until the 4th quarter. I'm laughing now but back then it was no joke. Denial is a coping mechanism that gives you time to adjust to stressful situations. You're trying to protect yourself by refusing to accept the truth about something that's happening in your life.

There I was in a snowball just rolling along doing the best I could and it was not a nice ride. When the reality of it all hit me...it sent me spiraling out of control. Nevertheless, I survived to tell you this little piece of my life...the point I'm making today is...you may think it can never happen to you, and that is your way of trying to protect yourself before it happens. However, the reality is that you too must journey through midlife and you really don't know how it's all going to play out but just remember once you realize what's happening make sure to turn to an expert midlife coach that can support you on your journey. Best wishes!
#RememberYourWorth
#NavigatingMyLife
#Choosing2Win
#MidlifeMeditations

Midlife Friendships...

8/7/2018

You will shed a few things in life and some old friendships are included. Did you just gasp? Well don't be surprised if some of your relationships simply fade while on your midlife journey. Shucks! Think of it this way, everything must change. Nothing stays the same and that includes friendships.

Being a former military wife was tough on my friendships. It was even worst once we retired. In all honesty it was depressing. Upon retirement we returned to life as civilians. Major loss for me and more than likely for my husband too! The point I'm making is at certain junctions in life friendships can be brief and finding new friends can be a bit challenging.

Here are a few things I've learned on my midlife journey: (1) It's okay to spend some of this down time getting to know the new you. (2) By understanding yourself during midlife you will have a clearer picture of the type of people you desire to build new friendships with. (3) In addition, you will know the type of things you would like to do with your friends as well. Keep in mind, that during midlife transition your life will look much different than before you entered this stage and it takes time to adjust, so don't be so hard on yourself. New Friendships will Emerge with the New You!
#RememberYourWorth
#NavigatingMyLife
#Choosing2Win
#MidlifeMeditations
#GodlyWomenWin!

Living Your Life on Autopilot

7/31/2018

If you're reading this blog today you're alive, but that doesn't mean you're really living your life. Often when we hear the phrase "really living your life" we come up with images of wild adventures like sky diving or climbing huge mountains. Honestly, that's not what I'm talking about. Really living your life is taking full responsibility and charge of your life so that you can live it in a full and meaning way without compromising what is godly, needful and important. Stephen Covey says "I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions."

What decisions can you make today to start "really living your life"?

When you feel like your life is happening on autopilot this can be very depressing but it doesn't have to be. You don't have to sit by and watch life happen, lose your drive, enthusiasm, or confidence. I remember when I had to level up and buckle down to start taking full responsibility for my life. It was a hard reality to face when you're in the second half of your life. You can sit there and beat yourself up about why you allowed yourself to put off being responsible or you can forgive yourself and move forward with God. I use to make every excuse in the book to avoid the pain of responsibility. Yes, I said the "Pain of Responsibility" because it takes energy and work to live a life that is really worth living. #RememberYourWorth #NavigatingMyLife #Choosing2Win #MidlifeMeditations #GodlyWomenWin #OurSisterhoodRocks!!!

It's Not Over!

7/26/2018

Is this all there is to life? I thought to myself if it is my life is over. There I was alone, with a broken heart, a broken marriage and dreams once dreamed turned into haunting thoughts and scary images of the end. Prior to all of this I couldn't have imagine being alone in this dark place in life and it was terrifying. Yes, I had to remind myself about a whole lot of messages I had preached to others because now it was time for the word to preach to me. Coming through this dark season taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I was co-dependent. That co-dependence was so unhealthy. When I sincerely looked at myself in the mirror of life I was a cripple and even childish, spoiled, incapable of caring for myself. It was scary that I had lived so immaturely during the years that I should've been leveling up to "true adulthood". I take full responsibility for it. In addition, I allowed my husband to feed me from his hands and at the end he gave me his behind to kiss. Hopefully, you can understand my drift. Coming to this dark season helped me see my crippling behavior and flawed character. Yes, the old way of thinking, living, and being is over but it has ushered me into an amazing discovery of my 'true self". I was afforded this opportunity to reinvent myself or in essence I turned to God to embrace the Godly Woman that was buried beneath the rubble of life. It's not over...I'm a living witness! #RememberYourWorth #NavigatingMyLife #Choosing2Win #MidlifeMediations #GodlyWomenWin #OurSisterhoodROCKS!!!

Living the Life You Want to Live

7/25/2018

The second half of your life doesn't have to be a crisis. I believe it becomes a crisis when you're uninformed and unaware of what new possibilities lie ahead. I've learned that midlife is more of an opportunity to allow yourself to be, have, and do what you've always desired to in the first place. It's a new beginning to live life on your own terms per se without the permission of anyone but God. Take this opportunity and educate yourself. Stop resisting the pull to emerge and start living the life you want to live. It's Your Time!

Viola Davis' Midlife...

7/24/2018

Day #2 of 5 REthinking Midlife....40+

7/24/2018

Facing the Fear & Fate of Death

I had just turned 46 & one day an ocean of emotions swept over me– The blunt reality of death staring at me, so depressive...Just the thought of it seemed to suck the very life out me –Taunting me. Whispering to my mind & soul. Making me feel things I hardly felt before. I literally cried for days and mourned for my own mortality....From these tears & pain I knew my life had to become more intentional, focused, and filled with meaningful living... As a result those salty tears & piercing pains literally ushered me into a new way of embracing every moment of my life with radical care and contemplative resort.
Do not be afraid nor dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
#NavigatingMyLife
#Choosing2win
#MidlifeMediations
#TheMidlifeDiariesofBCassandra

July 24th, 2018

7/24/2018

Author

BCassandra Thornton is the author of 3 Inspiring life enrichment books and a professional public speaker. Currently, she is working on her latest work entitled the Midlife Map: 8-Dimensions of life to Rethink, Reinvest. & Reconnect to Meaningful Living!

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